Who Gets the Dog in a Divorce? (Asking the Experts How to Win)

Divorce isn’t just tough on humans; our furry friends feel it too. Dogs are incredibly sensitive to changes in their pack dynamics and environment. When families split, the confusion and altered routines can lead to anxiety and sadness in dogs.

They might lose a beloved caretaker or see their living situation change drastically. During divorce proceedings, the question of who keeps the dog can become a major point of contention, reflecting the deep emotional bonds we share with our pets.

Since pets hold an irreplaceable spot in your heart, figuring out custody can become one of the most emotionally driven parts of the process.

• Dogs often seen as personal property legally.

• Courts are starting to consider pet well-being.

• Some states treat pet custody like child custody.

• Know your state’s laws and prioritize pet’s best interests.

• Pet custody strategies vary from informal agreements to court rulings.

• Consider the primary caretaker and what’s best for the pet’s routine and emotional needs.

• Aim for a mutually agreeable solution to reduce stress on both you and your pet.

Legal Considerations in Pet Custody

In navigating the complexities of pet custody during divorce, it’s crucial to understand the specific laws and factors that courts consider.

Understanding Pet Custody Laws

Pet custody laws vary by state, some treating pets as personal property while others consider the best interests of the pet. It’s essential to research your state’s stance on whether pets are community or separate property to anticipate how they may be treated in property division.

Ownership and Property Division

During divorce proceedings, determining who gets the dog often depends on ownership and property division laws. Pets acquired during the marriage are typically seen as community property, while those owned prior could be deemed separate property. The distinction between these can impact division outcomes.

The Role of Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements

A prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can simplify pet custody. Nicknamed a pet prenup, these agreements detail who will keep your family pets if a divorce occurs. Without an agreement, the court’s decision will be more unpredictable.

Court Considerations and Judges’ Perspectives

Judges in family court may consider various factors, including:

• Who is the primary caretaker?

• The best interests of the dog or pet

• If the pet was acquired before the marriage

Unlike child custody cases, some states don’t require consideration of the pet’s best interest.

Comparisons with Child Custody

While often likened to child custody, pet custody does not always receive the same legal consideration. However, similar principles, like best interest of the pet and care responsibilities, may inform judges’ decisions.

Implications of Domestic Violence and Animal Abuse

When domestic violence or animal abuse is involved, courts may include pet safety in restraining orders. Pets’ welfare becomes a considerable factor, and owning them can be affected by these serious concerns.

Winning Your Dog in Court: A Strategic Playbook

When the court becomes the arena for deciding your dog’s future, a well-crafted strategy is your best ally. Here’s how to stand out and sway the decision in your favor:

One of my top tips for ensuring that you retain custody for your dog in a divorce is to be coached well by your attorney for your testimony.

Ben Micheal

Dallas Attorney (The Zealous Advocate)

• Showcase Your Role: Prove you’re the main caregiver. Present evidence of your primary role in walks, vet visits, and daily care routines.

• Financial Stability: Demonstrate your ability to financially support your dog. Vet bills, quality food, and insurance—show you can cover it all.

• Stable Environment: Highlight the stability and safety of your home environment. Courts favor settings that promise continuity and security for the pet.

• Pet’s Preference: If possible, show the court your dog’s clear preference for you, through videos or behavior testimony.

• Legal Representation: Consider a lawyer who specializes in pet custody. Their expertise can navigate the nuanced legal landscape effectively.

I asked Ben Michael (Ben Michael, Attorney, Michael & Associates (https://zealousadvocate.com/) his thoughts on how clients win dog custody.

Ben shares, “One of my top tips for ensuring that you retain custody for your dog in a divorce is to be coached well by your attorney for your testimony. As the final decision of who keeps the dog is up to the court, if you don’t settle outside of court, you ultimately have to convince the court that you should keep the dog.“

“They may take into factors like who actually purchased the dog, but they will usually largely base their decision on personal testimony – things like who appears to take care of the dog more, who is more involved with the dog’s health, who seemingly has a greater attachment, etc.”

Your Vet Can Help You Win Custody

From a professional standpoint, while we cannot take sides, we can ensure that pet owners are aware of their rights regarding accessing medical records and the importance of these documents in legal matters

Dr. Kathryn Dench MRCVS

Chief Veterinary Advisor at Paw Origins

I asked an experienced Veterinarian if they had any experiences managing dog ownership through divrce. Dr. Kathryn Dench is a holistic & integrative veterinarian from Cambridge University and a Member of the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons

While they will always stay out of the back and forth during divorce proceedings, I was fascinated to learn of the importance of Vet notes and records.

Dr Dench shares “A scenario I’ve encountered, which highlights the depths of these emotional ties, involves cases where one partner, who may have never previously shown an active interest in the pet’s veterinary care, suddenly seeks custody as a form of leverage or out of spite during divorce negotiations.”

This can place pets in the middle of a contentious situation, underscoring the need for clear and unbiased documentation regarding the pet’s care and welfare.

From a professional standpoint, while we cannot take sides, we can ensure that pet owners are aware of their rights regarding accessing medical records and the importance of these documents in legal matters.

As veterinarians, we maintain records that can play a crucial role in these disputes.

These records often include detailed notes on who has brought the pet in for visits or who we’ve communicated with concerning the pet’s health. This information can inadvertently highlight who has been the primary caretaker, providing critical evidence in custody discussions.

Pet owners have the right to request copies of their pets’ records. It’s also crucial for owners to maintain their own comprehensive records of care, including receipts for food, grooming, training, and any other expenses related to the pet’s well-being.

Here’s a quick rundown:

Remember, your proactive efforts and ability to articulate your dedication as a pet owner play vital roles in pet custody cases.

Negotiating Pet Custody

When I asked Colorado attorney Justie Nicole about pet custody, she highlighted what she feels is important – out-of-court negotiation.

“As someone deeply involved in family law, I’ve come across quite a few memorable cases regarding the custody of pets during divorce proceedings. One case that stands out involved a couple who were both equally attached to their dog.”

I advise clients to aim for a mutually beneficial agreement, considering the pet’s needs first and foremost.

Justie Nicole

Colorado Attorney

“The client went to great lengths, including proposing a shared pet custody arrangement similar to child custody agreements, complete with scheduled visitations and shared expenses for the dog’s care. 

This innovative approach highlighted the importance of the pet in their lives and allowed both parties to remain involved in their pet’s life post-divorce.”

“Negotiating pet custody outside of court can often be more amicable and less stressful for all parties involved, including the pet. I advise clients to aim for a mutually beneficial agreement, considering the pet’s needs first and foremost.”

Mediation and Legal Settlement

In the mediation process, you and your ex-partner will work with a neutral third party—a mediator—to discuss and negotiate the terms of dog custody. The goal is to reach a settlement agreement without going to court. During mediation, both of you can voice your concerns and wishes regarding your pet’s future. Remember, compromise is key, and a skilled mediator can guide you towards a mutually satisfactory arrangement.

Creating a Pet Custody Agreement

Once an agreement is reached, it’s crucial to get everything down in writing. A pet custody agreement should include who will be the primary caretaker, how expenses are divided, and the dog’s routine—from vet visits to daily walks. Clarifying these details can prevent future disagreements. Your agreement can also specify visitation rights and how to handle any future disputes about the dog.

Factors Influencing Custody Decisions

Courts or mediators may consider several factors when helping you decide custody of the dog:

• Primary care: Who has been responsible for feeding, walking, and taking the dog to vet appointments?

• Routine: Maintaining a consistent routine is important for a dog’s stability.

• Well-being: The dog’s overall well-being must be the top priority.

• If the dog is an emotional support animal, the person relying on that support will typically be favored in custody decisions.

By focusing on negotiation and understanding these factors, you can work towards a pet custody arrangement that serves the best interest of your beloved dog.

Emotional Considerations

When navigating the challenging waters of divorce, acknowledging the deep emotional ties both you and your family have to your pet is crucial. Your dog isn’t just an animal; it’s a source of comfort and stability.

Attachment to the Family Pet

Your bond with the family pet is unique and significant. If you brought the dog into the marriage, this attachment might be particularly strong for you. On the flip side, if the pet was acquired during the marriage, both spouses may have a strong emotional claim. For children involved, the dog might be an integral family member, providing them with support and continuity during a period of change.

Pets as Emotional Support

Dogs often serve as emotional support animals, offering comfort during times of stress and transition. When determining custody, consider which spouse relies on the pet for emotional wellbeing. If one of you has been the primary caregiver, or if the dog is officially recognized as an emotional support animal for one spouse, these facts might influence your decisions and discussions regarding custody.

Practical Aspects of Pet Custody

In the face of divorce, deciding on a pet’s future requires careful consideration of daily life and financial responsibilities.

Living Arrangements and Routine

Your pet thrives on consistency, so when determining living arrangements, think about how to maintain their regular routine. Factor in your work schedule, living space, and ability to provide necessary attention. If you need to transition your pet between two homes, plan ahead to make this as smooth as possible, perhaps mirroring the feeding, exercise, and playtimes they are accustomed to.

Managing Pet-Related Expenses

Handling pet-related expenses requires clear communication. Draw up a list, where one column notes the type of expense (e.g., food, veterinary care, grooming) and the other the estimated cost. Here’s a simplified table for organizing these expenses:

Decide if you will split these costs, or if one person will be taking on the financial burden. Remember, travel costs for vet visits or doggy daycare should also be taken into account during this planning phase.

Effect of Divorce on Pets

When you’re going through a divorce, the impact on your pets is often a significant concern. Pets, especially the family dog, can experience stress due to the change in their living situation and the absence of one of their owners. It’s essential to know that, legally, pets are usually considered property, much like furniture or a vehicle. However, the emotional bonds with pets can make the separation process more complex.

• Stress Signals: Your dog might show signs of stress such as changes in eating habits, increased sleep, avoidance behavior, or other stress-related behaviors.

• Consistency is Key: Try to maintain a routine for your pet, as a predictable schedule can reduce anxiety.

Understand that while you may be preoccupied with asset division, your dog sees you and your spouse as their pack. Their experience of the divorce is about losing a member of that pack, not a shift in property ownership. Given the family dog’s emotional needs, some couples arrange a pet custody agreement, even though the law may not require it.

• Shared Custody: Sometimes, you can arrange for the dog to accompany your child during visits, or set up a schedule for the dog independently.

Remember: The well-being of your pet is crucial. Try to minimize the impact of separation and treat the dog as a sentient family member, rather than just an asset.